No God of the sock drawer

It is one of the axiomatic beliefs of my creed, though also provable by reason, that Gods hiding in sock drawers would be lesser Gods. However, because of their very lesserness, they would also be strictly non-existent, since Godness is identical to absolute moreness.

A real God hiding in a sock drawer would be so transcendently evident that his attempt at hiding would fail. His transcendent butt would be sticking out, and you'd just want to kick it so bad.

"Le Real" is a kind of Sturgeon

So we could paraphrase Kant, “A hundred real reals do not contain a centavo more than a hundred possible reals.” Seemingly, the Real is the cash value -- the kingly, the important, the inherited realm, landed property, and the gold and silver coins. Philosophical realism is the philosophy for which Ideas or Forms are important because they are royal and real because they are thinglike – which seems to destroy the purpose of the Ideas, which supposedly gain their power via their distinction from mere physical objects. And in Spain and Portugal, royalty remains "real" to this day, whereas in France since 1789, even the word real itself has been banished from the language. (What does Lacan have to say about all this? “The Real is impossible.” Thanks a lot, Jacques!)

I shall do away with all substance

For me it's interesting that the word used in this passage by Christian translators of Genesis from Hebrew into Latin  (substantia) was a calque of a Greek word (hypostasis, stands under) which is the opposite of the word (exanastasis, stands up) used by Jewish translators of the same passage from Hebrew into Greek. And these same Christians also used the Latin word and the Greek word from which it was calqued as technical terms opposite in meaning (one substantia but three persons or hypostasis), thus expressing the granddaddy of all empty distinctions (or mysteries), arguments over which led men to their deaths, and ultimately sent the Nestorians all the way to China.

Jouissance

Now, the Real, (le real) is, of course a fish -- specifically, a kind of sturgeon , as I have shown. But Lacan does not speak of le real, of course, but la real. In other words, contrary to his usual practice he uses ordinary language and not technical language. Furthermore, he speaks not of a sturgeon, but of a salmon:

Oregon's Gross New Economy 

Left holding the bag by the high-tech bust and unwilling to throw any more money down the higher-education rathole, the state of Oregon has come up with a bold new economic development strategy. Rather than relying on the highly capitalized, annoyingly pretentious post-industrial sector, Oregon will shift its economy to maggots and hagfish.

Gothic Architecture is fake

All your life you've been hearing about so-called Gothic Cathedrals and having people tell you how great they are, but you're being swindled. None of those cathedrals are really Gothic; they're all either Frankish, Francien, or Anglo-Saxon.

Grice United Fund

A lump-sum donation to the Grice United Fund every year will free you from the obligation to exercise piecemeal discursive charity toward dozens of annoying motherfuckers one after the other.

Toyota computer

OK, I have a bold new idea for home computers:

How's that for thinking outside the box?

The Most Important Meal of the Day
 

The Jews 

They (you know who I mean!) won't even let us write our own paranoid Christian shit novels. Pretty soon they'll be taking over the lucrative TV preacher racket too, and soon after that, the Pope racket itself. They're the Master Race all right, and we're all doomed.

Zizek's Wedding

Zizek has a remarkable physical resemblance to Modeste Mussorgsky, the least prolific of all the great composers.

700 year old jokes from a Syrian bishop

“A man was caught having sex with a ewe, and the judge ordered them both to be stoned to death.  Someone said “I understand that the man must be stoned, but why the ewe? She is a dumb animal, incapable of conscious choice in such matters”. The judge sternly replied, “It is important that justice be strict and unvarying. In such a case I would always order the ewe to be stoned, even if she were my own mother or my own sister.”

Visit Sweden in Early May

From a Swede:

"Really, physically, and it´s really intense! It´s a great and exciting transformation, and it happens every year in late April-June. I´m sorry about the flummingness of this post but I´m just not as good at English as I would wish, but this is a true thing in our mentality, just as most of us get really depressed at least sometime during the winter months. That makes us really melancholic and season-oriented. Some people note that Swedes seem cold but we are just really longing for the summer, and we have big trembling hearts inside. :)"

Etymological Vaginas

To me it's an open-and-shut case. The Yule-Pelliot theory assumes an alternative universe where Italian sailors, given a chance to make a smutty remark, failed to do so -- or even worse than that, an alternative universe where Italian sailors inadvertently made remarks which only later were discovered by others to have had a lewd connotation. Sorry, but I don't think of that as a possible world.

Socialism has come to this

The Swede Max Martin produces Britney. The Swede Anders "Bag" Bagge produces Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Lopez. The Swede Patrik Berger produces Hilary Duff.......

It's not just a few guys. It's a whole evil nation. Socialism has come to this.

I'm sure it's Abba's fault. If I were named Fernando, I'd sue their asses. "No, no, we Italians are NOT all romantic, sexy guys who like to screw blondes. You've got us wrong.  Some of us are sensitive guys uncertain about our sexual identity. Some of us are just too busy to spend two weeks with blondes on vacation. Some of us have lives."

Milady, The Emperor loves you so much that he could just puke

It turns out that Frederick the Second's love poem does not refer to seasickness, but a strong  misreading makes it an interesting poem for the first time ever.

Surf Music as Minimalism

Surf guitar  (created with jimmied equipment) sounds great with a dirty saxophone, regardless of whether either of the players can play. This is absolute music in its purest form -- the rock-bottom music of the state of nature.  How could anything be more minimal  than this?  It's nothing but "a sound".  But then the people called "minimalists" took a great idea and ruined it.

Real Gothic Cathedrals

The Gothic cathedrals you always read about are fake, constructed centuries after the disappearance of the Goths. Here are pictures of two real Gothic structures, built by Theodoric in Ravenna ca. 500 AD.

Van Gogh as Sucker 

Nowadays single Van Gogh works sell for fifty million dollars or more, and by simple processes of multiplication we can conclude that his entire body of work is worth several billion dollars.Thus, Van Gogh's average annual value-added during his short career must have been several hundred million dollars. So you have to ask yourself -- where was this money during Van Gogh's lifetime? Where did this value come from, since it simply didn't exist in Van Gogh's time, when the paintings were actually being painted? Considering that he and Theo never saw any of it, from an economist's point of view weren't they just a couple of suckers?

Haunted by Vegetables: Juan Sanchez Cotan

Juan Sanchez Cotan's fatal obsession with vegetables led him to a hellish impasse, which he escaped only by the total renunciation of this world for a rigidly cloistered life. More than any other vegetable, the cardoon (related to celery, the artichoke, and the thistle) had an iron grip on his imagination. By forcing us to look at vegetables as if for the first time, he leads us to rethink the "vegetable" and its place in our lives.

The Pagan Lithuanian Empire

As with the others, Lithuanian paganism was an open-air religion, centering on sacred groves, springs, riverbanks, and so on. Funeral practices included both cremation and burial, the sacrifice of horses, hawks and dogs, and the burial of grave goods. The sacrifice of captive enemies, as demanded by soothsayers, was practiced for good luck in war. The religious importance of the pig as a representative of the the next life is a somewhat unexpected aspect of the religion.

Eat Dirt For Good Health 

So it doesn't make a lot of difference how clean you keep your kitchen. What's most important is whether the food was contaminated in the first place, and how well you cook it. (A spotless Martha Stewart kitchen can be contaminated with e. coli or salmonella -- you can't see germs).

But it gets worse. Being too clean is bad for you. On the one hand, an unchallenged immune system isn't going to have much strength --if you want strong muscles you exercise them. But beyond that, there is evidence that an unused immune system turns against its owner and causes autoimmune diseases such as asthma, allergies, and worse. (Some have even suggested cancer).

The Authenticity and Fengshui of Bob Dylan 

This leads to the second point. Bob Dylan has always gotten a bad rap as this nice middle-class Jewish boy who pretended to be a hillbilly. Supposedly he reinvented himself in Greenwich Village and pulled the wool over everyone's eyes. However, Hibbing is genuinely out in the boonies. Duluth and Fargo, the largest nearby cities of any size, are not very big, not very close, and not very cosmopolitan. Hibbing itself was a tough mining town with a large, mostly Slavic, immigrant population, and was culturally more comparable to a mining or mill town in Pennsylvania than to anyplace in the Midwest.

The Finnish Plot for Global Domination 

Concerns have recently been expressed about a Communist takeover of the U. S. led by the Jew George Soros. This still could happen, but it's not the Jews we have to worry about. The Finnish entity is already spreading its tentacles worldwide (see below). If our grandchildren end up in a Scandinavian hell under the heel of the Finnish Occupation Government, they will have only us to blame.

Finnish as a World Language (not my own writing)

 The basic idea is: In Finnish the direct object (commonly called the accusative object) may occur in the nominative, the genitive, or the partitive case. In order to make things easier to understand, nominative and genitive are called accusative. There is also a real accusative which is not called anything at all.

Utmost care must be applied when interpreting the grammatical terminology. If you encounter the word 'accusative,' it can mean nominative or genitive, but never the real accusative. The term 'nominative' can mean accusative or, possibly, nominative. 'Genitive' can mean accusative or simply genitive, while partitive is always called partitive, although it may be accusative.

Killer Snails 

Those quiet-looking tropical snails with their beautifully-patterned shells are actually predatory killers whose extraordinarily-toxic venom is under study for use in medical or even military applications. Follow this link and you will learn everything you need to know about them, and you will even be able to see a video of a snail killing and swallowing a fish.

I am emersonj at gmail dot com.
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